By popular demand, and by “popular” I mean my dentist, a cousin of mine, and a former banjo player in The Night Drivers, we are returning to the bluegrass limericks. They’re peppy, they’re condensed, and in spite of the name, they’re not really Irish.
To review, if you missed it the first time around, it’s a five-line poem with an AABBA rhyme scheme, and is recited in a lilting 6/8 time, like a jig. You can dance to a limerick but it would just be a very short dance.
In the previous column we concentrated on limerick versions of bluegrass songs like this one for Bringing Mary Home:
There once was a small girl named Mary
Whose hitchhiking habits were scary
Her mom at the door
Sighed “another encore?”
You’d think by thirteen this would vary”
If nothing else, this saves time if you’re about to start a longish ballad and your set was supposed to end three minutes ago.
Well, we have follow-up limericks this week, including some by the banjo player mentioned above, Ned Luberecki, who tells me that limerick-writing might now be his true calling. Sure, he’ll play the banjo, tour and record, host shows on SiriusXM, teach us, etc., but the limericks will be where his heart is.
Before we get to any of Ned’s or my new ones, I think we’re all going through some post-election feelings, and it’s a range of feelings I’m sure. I thought it might be good to start with an Election Day-after limerick:
Well the midterm election’s been had
You might be elated or sad
But on this we agree
And it might set us free
We won’t have to see one more ad!
On to bluegrass songs. If ever there was a song in need of condensing when a stage manager is giving you the evil eye from the side of the stage, it’s The Hills of Roane County:
Amanda she loved me I think
But our Roane County future did sink
I was stabbed by her brother
For something or other
My revenge landed me in the clink
While we’re on the subject of murder ballads, this one is from Ned for Knoxville Girl:
Murdered in a fit of disorder
At first he really adored her
The verdict is in
Willie’s guilty as sin
Tonight on Knoxville Law & Order
Or from Ned for Hot Corn Cold Corn:
The children are looking forlorn
The preacher is coming with scorn
Peggy and Bill
Tell the chickens to chill
We’ll accept any temperature corn
And here’s another one of mine, based on the Jimmy Martin classic written by Jimmie Skinner, You Don’t Know My Mind:
My mind you don’t even know
I drift like the new fallen snow
Written by Skinner
I think it’s a winner
Just add some banjo by Crowe
And John Deere Tractor:
I’ve been telling my mom I’m a tractor
Too bad I’m not a good actor
The city is rough
These women are tough
And they smell bad, perhaps that’s a factor
The Rebel Soldier in limerick form
This Yankee prison’s no fun
The parson thinks I’m almost done
“Will my soul pass above
The dear land that I love?”
He said “maybe but I’d bring a gun”
This was a Nedski/Jonesy co-write:
Tenbrooks appeared to be losing
Molly some trash talk was using
But they took her off in
A ready-made coffin
While Kyper let Tenbrooks keep cruising
Finally, my personal favorite from Ned, a little homage to Gordon Lightfoot:
Hitchiking some highway or other
It gets cold out here without cover
I’ll never be famous
Just some ignoramus
Holding a sign that says “mother”
