A friend of mine suggested once that this column is like the “Buzzfeed of bluegrass.” He assured me it was a compliment, but I wasn’t so sure. Concerned, I looked back through the archives and found a generous helping of subjects like finding your bluegrass spirit animal, the bluegrass zodiac, millennial bluegrass song titles (“Will the Text Thread Be Unbroken”), top 10 bluegrass conspiracy theories, and ’80s bluegrass song title mash-ups (“Papa Don’t Preach Little Bennie”).
In short, it’s a lot of pretty shallow stuff. Could this be the time to change course and address subjects that really matter to the bluegrass music community? There’s so much to write about, from the shortage of booking agents, to the problem of lost CD sales revenue, to the proliferation of “family bands” who aren’t even related. And what about the growing biscuit binge-eating problem no one wants to talk about?
Maybe next week. Right now, it’s early August and it’s too hot to be deep—or less shallow—so instead I present a mashup of bluegrass song titles and famous Disney animated feature titles. For this I received some valuable contributions from members of my family who have extensive Disney-viewing experience. You can think of this as the equivalent of the light and fluffy summer radio hit. We have those in bluegrass, too. Sure, somebody is heartbroken or dies at some point, but the melody sounds light and summery.
Pocahontas on the Banjo
Snow White Dove
Mother’s Only Sleeping Beauty
Toy Story Heart
Barbara Aladdin
Mulan and Tenbrooks
Frozen Gambler
Fox and the Hound on the Run
Little Mermaid and the Dreadful Snake
Little Steamboat Willie
Big Moana
The Rescuers Down Yonder
Papa Don’t Whip Little Bambi
Bringing Mary Poppins Home
For longtime Del McCoury fans:
Beauty and the Beast of My Dreams
For J.D. Crowe or Flying Burrito Brothers fans:
Cinderella City
And, in honor of Peter Rowan’s induction into the Bluegrass Hall of Fame
Alice in Wonderland of the Navajo
And the sequel:
Mad Hatterhorn
Finally, now that Disney owns the Star Wars franchise:
Return of the Jedi Clampett
Next week: How to determine your bluegrass love language
