I’m excited to announce the return of Mr. Bluegrass Manners. He’s been out on the road, touring all 50 states in his well-mannered (but used) bluegrass bus, spreading the gospel of bluegrass etiquette, and building grassroots support for no particular reason, except that it seems like a 2020 thing to do.
Queries from readers have been piling up, though, so he’s taking a break from the road to regroup, focus on self-care (sometimes you have to be polite to yourself, MBM is quick to point out), and answer some of these burning questions:
Dear Mr. Bluegrass Manners,
Is it appropriate to send Valentine’s Day flowers to your favorite Bluegrass band?
— Thoughtful in California
MBM:
Dear Thoughtful,
It’s always appropriate to send flowers on any occasion to your favorite band. The same holds true for chocolates, gift baskets, cutting boards, gift cards, and technology stocks. Not to dampen anyone’s gift-giving enthusiasm, but there are some gifts to your favorite bluegrass artists to steer clear of: pets (including mules), dentist office samples, single-use appliances, eggs, engagement rings (unless your relationship to one of the band members has progressed to “the next level”), or body parts of any kind. A card is also nice.
— MBM
Dear Mr. Bluegrass Manners,
I’m looking for parameters on using “shared the stage with” in musical bios. Does this necessarily mean *consensually* shared the stage with? Must it imply “played music onstage with?” And is there a temporal dimension, i.e. must the sharing of the stage have been concurrent in order to count for a musical bio?
— Truthseeker in Ontario
MBM:
Dear Truthseeker,
I’ll admit that I’m not a fan of “shared the stage with” in bio material in general. An exception can possibly be made when a band is brand new and can only claim an 8th place finish in the Mississauga Idol talent contest as a selling point. If you have to use it, though, I think it should be confined to a concurrent situation as you mentioned, i.e. you should have actually shared the stage with the headline act at the same time, (exchanging words with the headline act isn’t necessarily a requirement). Sadly, this phrase is almost always used when both acts were part of some multi-artist event and may not have even been anywhere near each other at the time. My problem with the whole concept is where does it end? “Shared the stage with . . .” can easily be expanded to “were present at the same festival as . . .” or “shared the studio with” (when this more famous artist merely recorded at the same studio you did five years ago), or “shared the state with . . .” I prefer “shared the bill with . . .” in situations where your band was listed on the same bill or poster as the headline act you want to be associated with. Note that your band needs to actually be billed on the show, not just present at the event. Also, merely touching the poster isn’t enough; your name needs to be on it. I also like, “plays the same brand of strings as,” “once had a meaningful conversation with . . .,” or “has a similar hair style to . . .”
— MBM
Dear Mr. Bluegrass Manners,
Is it appropriate to play Banks of the Ohio at a wedding reception?
What if it’s a dedication?
— Booked in June
MBM:
Dear Booked,
As you probably know, there are only about four bluegrass songs that are appropriate for a wedding, and one of those is an instrumental. This means in order to play a full set of music at a wedding, a bluegrass band is going to have to fill the show out with songs like Veil of White Lace, Bury Me Beneath the Willow, A Face in the Crowd, and as you brought up, Banks of the Ohio. I would just recommend mumbling the lyrics even more than a bluegrass band already does, and maybe turning down the vocal mic. If the groom wants to dedicate Banks of the Ohio to the bride, you need to take her aside and help her plan an immediate escape to some far away land like Nunavut or Liechtenstein.
— MBM
Some form of this next question came from two different readers:
Dear Mr. Bluegrass Manners,
I’m curious: Is it rude or disrespectful to the musicians to let out a whoop after a good instrumental break? Or is it considered a compliment by those playing? As a West Virginia native, it’s somewhat natural to hoot and holler when the music moves me. Seriously though, what do musicians think?
— West Virginia Whooper
MBM:
Dear Whooper,
One musician, Jeff Scroggins, has already weighed in on this: “The more hootin’ and hollerin’ the better!!!” I think this is a pretty consistent sentiment among musicians. Very few performers outside of classical music and Gregorian chant object to applause or whooping, hollering, and even some moderate screaming. It shows enthusiasm. Other people in the audience sometimes object because their own personal style of praising a musical moment might be more subdued. They may need to concentrate more on the music on the stage and less on the audience members around them. What musicians and others in the crowd do find objectionable is whooping that doesn’t seem to be in response to anything in particular, and which carries on throughout the song and indeed throughout the whole show. This is more an expression of drunkenness or just an attempt to show off one’s ability to generate loud noise, or both. This is distracting and disrespectful. Whoop away, but for the right reasons.
—MBM
