Mr. Bluegrass Manners has been away for an unusually long time, and he asked me to pass on his apologies. He said he’s been wanting to “spend more time with his family,” which I found surprising since I had never heard him mention anyone in his family, and always knew him to live alone with two cats named Jack and May, and a dog named Clyde Moody. In any case, it would be impolite to judge, and I’m just glad he’s back to take some questions about bluegrass etiquette, which were submitted by real people, mostly, through my Facebook page:
Dear Mr. Bluegrass Manners,
Sometimes in a jam session, a player will identify a song by the most recent artist who recorded it, as in, “Hey let’s do that Billy Strings song, John Deere Tractor. I know it is impolite to snort and laugh derisively, but is there a tasteful way to educate the person about Larry Sparks?
Warm regards,
Pedantic in Paducah
Dear Pedantic,
Well first of all, I think we all need to make it our mission to educate everyone about Larry Sparks, not limiting ourselves to one poorly informed musician at a jam session. Having said that, it’s easy to fall into the bluegrass equivalent of “mansplaining,” or “grassplaining” as it’s come to be called: “Well actually, you sad and ignorant person, Wagon Wheel isn’t a ‘Rhonda Vincent song,’ (using air quotes for effect), it’s a song that was done originally by the band Old Crow Medicine Show, and was co-written by Bob Dylan. It was probably before your time.” This approach can be a little heavy-handed. Still, some correction is important in these situations, or we’ll have more and more people believing that The Lonesome River is a Here Today song, or that Gentle On My Mind is an Alison Krauss song.
It isn’t necessary to be condescending, or to go into a lot of detail in your correction, though: “Actually, Blue Night wasn’t done originally by Hot Rize. Bill Monroe recorded it in 1966 with a lineup of the band that included Peter Rowan, Richard Greene, and Lamar Grier, (now better known as David Grier’s dad). Bill Monroe got the song from Sam & Kirk McGee, two early members of the Grand Ole Opry from College Grove, TN, an area of Middle Tennessee with a rich musical heritage.” The person you’re addressing will never return to this jam session again.
I would keep it simple and breezy, something like this: “Oh you mean the Larry Sparks song? Sure! What key do you like?” Or after playing the song, you could ask, “Have you heard the Larry Sparks original?” If the person asks, “Who’s Larry Sparks?”, one subtle eye-roll is perfectly justified.
— MBM
Dear Mr. Bluegrass Manners,
If I’ve brought my instrument to the concert because there is a jam afterwards, is it okay to play along with the band on stage? If I play quietly?
Tuned and Ready in Virginia
Dear Tuned,
The short answer is “no,” but it’s worth explaining a little. It would be entirely possible to play a guitar quietly in the back of the room and not disturb anyone, but this kind of uninvited audience participation usually doesn’t end with the quiet guitar. It’s more often the banjo (not quite in tune), or the harmonica, or the spoons, or in extreme cases the bagpipes or the bombard. Then you’re not only disturbing your fellow audience members, at that point the band on stage can hear you, too. Ours is a participatory music, so the line between jamming and attending a show can sometimes be a little blurred. The band on stage, friendly and open though they might be, would still like to maintain that line. Some bands invite participation from the audience, and then it’s fine, though outside of a workshop situation, it’s extremely rare for them to ask you to bring out the trombone to jam along with their originals.
— MBM
Dear Mr. Bluegrass Manners,
This is an election year (needless to say) and I have strong opinions about the current race, but I’m also a bluegrass professional. Is it wrong or impolite to post my political opinions on social media, and are people right to push back at me—rudely, in some cases—just for expressing my views?
Politically Active in Atlanta
Dear Active,
I guess I’ve saved the tough one for last, secretly hoping that fewer people have read this far into the article.
This is a thorny one, and there isn’t a simple answer. Everyone’s entitled to an opinion on these issues that affect all of us, but the role you play in the industry and the way you present these opinions matter. The fact is that it comes down to how willing you are to alienate people who might be friends, clients, or customers of yours. Is it worth it to be clear to people about where you stand? Perhaps it is. But are you trying to let people know your positions out of a sense of duty, or are you just blowing off steam? It’s always worth considering that there are ways to soften your approach to avoid seeming like just another jerk (frankly), and still get your point across. For example, you can criticize a candidate or public figure without going the extra step of denigrating all of that public figure’s followers. Some of those followers could easily be people who are professionally or personally important to you. Then, if you’re a recording artist, a label head, a broadcaster, etc., you just have to consider the risk. Sometimes just thinking about that for a moment will immediately mellow out the tone of your message. I think we can all avoid referring to people who disagree with us as “hateful” or “dumb” or “brainwashed” (nowadays people define “hate” as any opinion they disagree with, and that’s not a very valid or accurate definition).
On the other hand, since you’re talking about social media, I think it’s worth differentiating between public and private accounts. People are quick to criticize artists or industry people the moment they express an opinion they don’t like on their own personal account. It’s just as legitimate for a musician, for example, to post something political as it is for someone who runs a landscaping business. Most of the time, I’ve found that people who say, “Stick to music and shut up about politics!”, have social media feeds themselves that are 90% politics. They simply don’t want to hear a differing opinion. It’s still up to that artist, however, even on a personal page, to dial back the vitriol or at least be willing to face the consequences for it.
I’m afraid that’s the best I can do to advance the cause of bluegrass etiquette in this etiquette-challenged year of 2024.
— MBM
