Fearless predictions for 2009

Fearless predictions for 2009 from Bluegrass TodayWe have noticed that a great many blogs have issued a list of predictions for the new year, touching on their individual areas of interest or expertise.

Leaping gingerly onto the bandwagon, here are some predictions from Bluegrass Today, to be taken with as large a grain of salt as you have at your disposal.

  1. Dailey & Vincent will release another recording which will be just as good as the first, but some won’t like it because it’s too perfect.
  2. CD sales will continue to decline, and the larger industry will persist in bemoaning the fact while still dragging their feet with regard to any new business models.
  3. 1024 bluegrass CDs will be released in total (professional, part-time, amateur, and compilations).
  4. Wichita Rutherford will have 8 silly contests on his blog.
  5. Dan Tyminski will grow one of those tiny goatees like Barry Bales wears.
  6. Emulating farm subsidies, government bailouts will be offered to banjo builders if they will cease production immediately. There will be several takers.
  7. Tim Stafford will write the perfect bluegrass song, only to have it recorded on a Michael Bolton comeback project.
  8. The Cherryholmes reality TV show becomes a smash success, leading to a number of spin-offs and emulators. Cia and Molly Kate dress up dolls set sales records, but Jere’s line of rugged dress wear for men generates unwelcome attention from PETA.
  9. Continuing her efforts to offer fans a window into her personal life, Rhonda Vincent will film herself shopping for groceries and ask viewers to help her make purchase decisions via online chat.
  10. The Bluegrass Intelligencer will uncover attempts by terrorists to learn banjo kickoffs (but not endings), and will be investigated by Homeland Security.
  11. Kristen Scott Benson will quietly engender dissension in the ranks, and push for further female replacements as existing band members depart. The group will be re-named The GrassGals.
  12. Alison Krauss will dash the reunion hopes of another swath of the geriatric rocker set when she teams up with Mick Jagger for a CD of duets based on the Canterbury Tales.

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About the Author

John Lawless

John had served as primary author and editor for The Bluegrass Blog from its launch in 2006 until being folded into Bluegrass Today in September of 2011. He continues in that capacity here, managing a strong team of columnists and correspondents.