Blue Yodel #17 – #bluegrassgrammy-attackads

twitterTweets in Response to Steve Martin’s Blatant Attempt to Increase Public Awareness of Bluegrass Grammy

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin claims to be illegitimate son of Jimmy Martin. Nope, says Jimmy in Skype session from beyond.

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin mispronounces “banjo” on Letterman. No, Steve, it’s not a “ban-ho.”

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin SuperPac $$ influencing Grammy voters by buying up all copies of Pink Panther 2.

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin talks about besting Alison Krauss’s 26 Grammys: “Six years, tops.”

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin pays band to refer to him as “Chubby” Martin in effort to sway Grammy voters.

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin says, “I’m not concerned about poor people [garbled] who play the banjo.”

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Enraged Steve Martin smashes Ed Helms’ banjo: “This music’s not big enough for two comics!”

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin once hired twin fiddle players named Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin gives free concert to Grammy voters – cassette copy of Rare Bird Alert under each seat. Refuses encore.

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin buys Union Station to add to Steep Canyon Rangers collection of sidemen.

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin’s Rare Bird Alert influenced M.I.A.’s Super Bowl flip-off.

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin admits to breaking up Johnson Mt. Boys. “I was their Yoko,” Martin brags.

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin thinks “Ralph” is a funny first name. Also snickers at “Lester” and “Earl.”

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin claims Scruggs stole his licks in 40s. “I’m just saying, he was at all my shows,” Martin sniffs.

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin once posed nude as a centerfold for Banjo Newsletter with Pete Seeger’s long-neck banjo.

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin refuses to sign 5,639th autograph after gig. Claims his hand was “tired.”

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin in email to Chris Thile: “Mandolin is easy, comedy is hard.”

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin wants all set-lists that include murder songs to be approved by Government Death Panels.

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin rhymes “Jim Lauderdale” with “Him Oughta Fail.” Waits for laugh.

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin buys up all banjo capos. “I’m the only one who can play in Bb now!” cackles Martin.

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin flubs words to “I Am My Own Grandpa.”

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin creates $50,000 banjo award. Why not $60,000, Steve?

#bluegrassgrammyattackads Steve Martin dies his hair silver to look more like Del McCoury.

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About the Author

Chris Stuart

Chris Stuart is a writer and songwriter living in San Diego. He was the 2008 recipient of the IBMA Print Media Person of the Year award, co-writer of the 2009 IBMA Song of the Year, and past winner of the Merlefest Chris Austin Songwriting contest in bluegrass and gospel categories. You can follow him on Twitter @cvstuart, on Facebook, and at On Tuesdays you can find him having fish tacos at Roberto’s in Del Mar.