Facebook hack attack!

Chris JonesThis is my 200th column for Bluegrass Today. This is according to my own count, mind you, which is questionable in its accuracy, since I was only working with ten fingers. It’s pretty close, though.

I thought this might be the time to say something profound, this being the Day of Epiphany, not to mention Orthodox Christmas Eve. There has been breaking news in the bluegrass world, however, and I think I’d better address it before it’s completely forgotten about by the weekend. It’s not profound at all.

At some point a few days ago (not to get too specific on you), some dastardly person, possibly a computer-savvy 13 year-old in Moldova, hacked into the IBMA Facebook page, and took it over, eliminating all the IBMA page administrators in the process.

When I saw the page, I immediately thought to myself, “well, this could have been a lot worse.” It was mostly benign celebrity news posts. It could have been porn, or worse, post-New Year’s diet and fitness advertising. As I read over the posts, I wondered what motivated the Moldovan teenager mentioned above to bother doing this at all?

The most entertaining part of it all, though, was the comments below the posts by the many followers of the IBMA’s page. Thanks to some quick and diligent work yesterday by the IBMA, the page is back to normal, so for the benefit of those who missed it and now can’t see any of the hacked page content, I managed to save some of the posts and comments. I’m pasting them below for your reading pleasure (minus the photos, sorry, but I think you already know what the Kardashians look like):

Justin Bieber Goes on “Hunter-Gatherer” Diet
Will Eat Nothing But Meat, Fish, Nuts, and the Occasional Oak Leaf

Comments:
JL: Can someone tell me what this has to do with bluegrass???!!!!!

DT: That does it! I’m cancelling my subscription to this Facebook page!!!!!!

JL: Me too!!!!

PH: I’ve been on that diet myself for 2 years. I’ve lost 20 pounds!

Donald Trump to Wed Kim Kardashian on Eve of Iowa Caucuses. Mike Huckabee to Officiate. Hillary Accepts Invitation to Reception

Comments:

MJ: I’m a Republican, my wife is a Democrat, and our daughter loves the Kardashians. We’re all VERY offended by this sensationalist story for different reasons!!

JL: I repeat, WHAT DOES this have to do with BLUEGRASS!!!??????!!!

DR: Would everybody just calm down a little bit? The IBMA Facebook page has obviously been hacked. I’ve called them and they’re already aware of the problem and are working on it.

JL: Oh.

KR: Well who let this happen anyway? Somebody should be held accountable. This is the worst crisis to hit IBMA since they ran out of cheese cake at the Special Awards luncheon of ’98.

Celebrity Instagram Bombshell: Anne Hathaway to Share Pregnant Bikini Pics . . .   Of Someone Else

Comments:

HT: Hello!! Can you please post stories about BLUEGRASS??!!! That’s what we’re paying for, or would be if we were paying. This is outrageous!! Plus, this article doesn’t even tell us who these pictures are of or let us see any of them!!!

LD: Congratulations, IBMA!! I hope you’re happy. You’ve finally gotten your wish: all dissenting voices eliminated, and the IBMA completely at the mercy of the pop music world. Enjoy that “wider audience” you were after. I, for one, am OUT OF HERE!!!!

DR: It’s just a hacked page. Relax.

LD: YOU relax. You apparently don’t care about this music as much as I do!!!

Star Wars Update: Alison Krauss to be Cast as Princess Leia’s Long-Lost Daughter “Rita” in Episode 8

Comments:

HT: Finally!! Some news about bluegrass!!!!!! I love Alison’s version of “Sawin’ On the Strings” and I think she’ll be perfect for this part! Thanks, IBMA, and thank you Disney!!!!

DR: I’m unfriending all of you.

I told you it wasn’t profound. I should offer this disclaimer for those who might take this literally, and since a large number of people thought the IBMA really was posting celebrity gossip stories on purpose, I figure I should cover all bases: I made the above stories and comments up. They were in the spirit of what I read on the hacked page, though.

I do want to take a moment to thank the people who take the time to read and share these weekly bits of journalistic goofing off, and I want to thank John Lawless and all the staff of Bluegrass Today for showing the support that they have for this. I feel lucky to get the free hand that I do, and it continues to be a privilege to write for Bluegrass Today.